


It Wasn't Worth It

by TenjoZakito



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Captivity, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Guilt, Guilty Steve, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Mutual Pining, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Physical Abuse, Pining, Slow Burn, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-11
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-07-14 11:38:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7169471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TenjoZakito/pseuds/TenjoZakito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the fight in Siberia, Tony Stark fell to his death from the Hydra facility.</p><p>Steve Rogers was tormented with guilt, firmly believes that he was the one who killed Tony.</p><p>(Chapter 1 can be a standalone for if Tony really died, chapter 2 onwards is the continuation of what if Tony didn't die)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

\--

It all happened too fast, the repeated punches and kicks, and the one hit that pushed Tony over the edge of the building.

Before Steve could grab him, Tony's body was already halfway down the cliff.

Steve ran to the foot of the icy mountain and found Tony's lifeless body buried in the thick snow, blood oozing out of the armor, painting the snow red, blending in with the red of the armor.

He slumped beside Tony, pulled the mask away, and checked for any signs of breathing.

There was none.

\--

The funeral was a small one, what is left of the Avengers had to keep Ross' judgment out of it.

The public statement was that Zemo shot down Tony's airplane after he left the prison, Tony died while escaping the plane, but the suit crashed due to damage on the Arc Reactor.

The only people present were Vision, Rhodey, Pepper, Happy, King T'Challa and a particularly young high school boy called Peter.

When they lowered Tony's coffin, Steve looked from a distance, wearing a baseball cap and a pair of sunglasses, his usual disguise.

Bucky stood behind him, his arm resting on Steve's shoulder.

Rhodey stayed at Tony's grave much longer than everyone else, he sat in his wheelchair and just stared at the gravestone.

Steve walked towards him and stood beside him.

"I always knew he was going to die young, just didn't expect it to be like this," Rhodey said, eyes still fixed on Tony's gravestone.

"I'm sorry," Steve said softly.

Rhodey chuckled, "You saying that to me or him?"

"Both of you, I'm sorry for everything."

Rhodey's smile grew wider, though Steve could still see the sadness in it.

"Nah Cap, my legs, the team, that don't matter," He turned his wheelchair to face Steve and looked straight into his eyes.

Even on a wheelchair, Rhodey's glare was intimidating, and Steve looked away from him, and it was his turn to stare blankly at Tony's tombstone.

"I'm a soldier like you Cap, and I don't have all that super serum in me, when I go onto the battlefield I'm prepared to die for my country, I was prepared for things like this since the first day I joined the army. But Tony, he ain't no soldier."

Steve look back at Rhodey and see the tears in the military man's eyes.

"My legs I blame nobody, but his death, I blame you."

Rhodey left in his wheelchair, a prototype Tony had started working on the moment Rhodey's medical diagnosis came out.

Steve looked back at Tony's grave, under Tony's name and years he's lived, the quote was "The truth is... I am Iron Man."

\--

Months had passed, and it was as if the world had already forgotten about Tony Stark and the Iron Man.

People stopped talking about him, his name disappeared from the papers, even toy shops stopped selling his action figurines.

Steve broke everyone out of the Raft prison, T'Challa offered them a temporary shelter to stay in Wakanda and medical assistance for Bucky.

Everything seemed to be going well, but every smile Steve put on still felt forced, when he is alone in his room a suffocating emotion just crushes him.

His team is not stupid, they noticed that since day one, but no one really knows what to do to help him.

"It wasn't your fault."

"You had no control over the situation."

"Zemo manipulated the two of you."

The same words repeated over and over, and Steve would always thank them but also quickly escape back into his room.

Until one day, Natasha knocked on his room door.

"Hey fossil, why the long face?"

Seeing Natasha for the first time in a while brought a genuine smile to Steve's face, he gave her a long and tight hug, fighting back the tears in his eyes.

"You want to talk about what's been happening? The rest seem pretty concerned. I'm no psychiatrist but I might be able to help."

Steve took a deep breath and sat at the foot of his bed.

"Tony... I killed him."

"Are you sure?"

It was a surprised response, though no longer surprising once Steve realized it is Natasha he is talking to.

"I think so, I was punching him, he was near the edge of the window, I didn't control my strength, and he just... he just... fell..."

"He wears a flying suit."

"I damaged it pretty badly before that, he had trouble flying when he was trying to get to Bucky."

Natasha looked at her phone, still the same one Tony had given her, specially made with no possible way to track yet still function-able like every other smartphone, or even more advanced.

"Maybe you need to go back to take a look around Tony's mansion, might find something new that could help you."

"I don't think I can get in the house without sounding the alarm."

"I already messaged Vision, he will let you in."

Natasha stood up, gave a pat on Steve's shoulder.

"I said some pretty harsh things to him before I left too, wish I could turn back time to fix everything, but somethings you just can't do anything about it but to move on."

\--

Steve was in Tony's mansion, Vision standing a distance away, fidgeting.

"Wanda's doing well," Steve said, smiling at Vision who had attempted so many times to ask the question, but always stops before it came out of his mouth.

"That is wonderful to hear," Vision smiled back, the innocence in it warmed Steve's heart a little.

He walked around Tony's mansion, a house way too big for one man.

"Colonel Rhodes, King T'Challa and I had been working on amending the accords, in order for your actions in Germany to be pardoned by the UN, so you and the rest of your team would be permitted to return home."

"That's good to hear, Vision, thank you for everything you're doing."

"You're very welcome captain."

Steve walked into Tony's workshop, where a lot of the things were still unfinished.

In a glass cabinet, lies the suit Tony wore on the day he fell.

Steve stood before it, looking at every scratch and dent on the suit.

He still remembered the tired look Tony had when his mask was retracted, visible bruises on his face, walking close to them, no intention to attack.

But Steve still held his shield up against him, Bucky had his gun pointed at him.

"It has been brought to my attention that some parts of Mr. Stark's suit still had functionality when he fell, it might have been difficult for consistent flight, but a crash that caused this much damage to his body would have to be in the same condition as Colonel Rhodes' suit when I accidentally shot him."

Steve looked back at Vision, who expanded holograms of detailed analysis of the suit's damage.

"What are you trying to say?"

"It is a mere assumption, but I believe Mr. Stark had committed suicide."

Steve was silent, his heart started beating faster.

"I have also been observing symptoms of chronic depression from Mr. Stark for quite some time, Friday, could you show Captain Rogers the footage on December 16th, 2015, 8.23pm, storage room."

A holographic screen appeared before Steve, a security footage with audio started playing before him.

"Friday, do you ever think about death?"

"The definition of death to an A.I is vastly different from a human, Sir."

"Yeah, that's what I thought too until I lost Jarvis, kind of changed my perspective you know."

Tony was sitting on the floor, flipping through photo books, something completely out of character for Tony, who usually just scans everything and look at them on his holographic screens.

He also had a bottle of hard liquor sitting right beside him.

"I didn't really give a shit about my dad when he died, never spent more than a week with him every time I came back, he's always running around the world looking for Steve Rogers, the great American hero."

Steve felt something in his chest tensed, it was painful, suffocating.

"God, I hated that guy, what's so great about a physically enhanced human being? They're still made of flesh and blood, they could still die?" Tony took another sip of his alcohol straight out of the bottle, wiping his eyes with his other hand.

"I am very sorry for your lost sir."

Tony chuckled, putting away the photo books.

"Friday, show me some footage of the Avengers, the whole team, old or new, doesn't matter."

The holographic screen shined a blueish light on Tony's face, and Steve could see the smile spreading across Tony's face when he was looking at the team.

The shine in Tony's eyes just rips Steve's heart apart further.

\--

The trip did not help.

Tony was not lying when he said the accords could be amended to be more reasonable, with King T'Challa, Rhodey and Vision's help, Steve and his team are no longer wanted criminals.

Clint and Scott were especially overjoyed, to be able to go back to their family.

Family.

Steve thought he had lost it long ago when he woke up from the ice, then he had Peggy and Bucky back, but he did not realize all along, the Avengers had been there.

It was dysfunctional and chaotic, but it was a home he could go back to.

A home Tony had built for him, for all of them.

It was also the only family Tony had left, which Steve destroyed.

Bucky decided to stay in Wakanda, continuing his treatment from the effect of Hydra's abuse.

Steve wanted to stay, but there were so much on his mind, his presence was not of any help to Bucky's treatment.

So he packed his bags and went on a trip, he went to Lagos, Sokovia, Germany, New York.

Everywhere he went, he saw STARK Industries' logos, an indication of Tony's efforts to help.

Then he went to a small town in Tennessee, a part of Tony's own adventure he had heard from Bruce, who told the story as a funny one, which Tony rambled to Bruce about his problems, thinking he was a psychiatrist just because he has the title of a doctor.

Steve never got to hear it from Tony himself, he only heard of the attack on Tony's previous mansion and his subsequent disappearance on the news.

Now that he thinks back, he wonders why he never bothered to ask Tony about it, and makes a mental note to ask Pepper or Rhodey about it when he goes back to New York.

It was snowing, the chills in the air making Steve shiver slightly.

But he enjoyed the calmness of the night in a small town, a refreshing change from the chaos of the urban and modern large cities.

He wondered did Tony think of the same thing, to be so far away from high-end technology, how did Tony cope with that.

The snow starts to get heavier, and Steve begins to realize his jacket was not thick enough to endure through it.

He turned back to return to the hotel, then his whole body froze.

A familiar figure was standing in the middle of a field, staring up at the snow.

It was a dreamy sight, almost surreal.

Steve smiled widely, feeling a flush of warmth spreading from his heart to the rest of his body.

The chills of winter no longer bothered him.

He was home again.

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm going to ramble a bit.
> 
> First off, the ending, please interpret however you like!
> 
> Is Steve hallucinating? Imagining? Or is Tony really alive? I don't know but I thought this was the best ending I could give.
> 
> No clear answer but whichever ending you choose might show how much you want to torture Steve.
> 
> This is intended to be a one-shot, but I do have an idea for sequel/continuation, I don't know but I want more angst, and if there is a sequel Tony would actually be alive, and I will have to think of a good reason why he is alive.
> 
> Civil War absolutely killed my heart, I was dying with Tony feels, I want this man to be happy and I was so angry with what Steve did to him.
> 
> This took me a while but it was my way of dealing with that, and probably something to help me get over this movie.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Please tell me what you think in the comments! 8D
> 
> UPDATE: THANK EVERYONE SO MUCH FOR ALL THE COMMENTS, KUDOS AND BOOKMARKS!  
> I've decided to continue this story, but the first chapter can still be considered as a standalone on it's own!  
> I'm still in the process of writing it though :| Pretty slow because of real life responsibilities, but I hope you guys will like the continuation too!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is alive, but he is not well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge thanks to everyone who commented, gave kudos and bookmarked this fic!  
> It was really encouraging and I would you guys would enjoy the continuation too!   
> Updates might be a bit slow because of real life commitments, but I will try my best!

Tony Stark was exhausted.

Emotionally, physically there were much more problems than just exhaustion.

He had forgotten how it was like to not be tired, eventually, he accepted it as a part of him.

Chug down a few cups of coffee, increase his blood sugar, and he was ready to face the world again with his rich playboy persona.

But despite all the weariness weighing down on him, he always had something to hang on to.

Pepper, Rhodey, sometimes even Happy and Jarvis.

The Avengers.

A thing Nick Fury threw at him out of nowhere, he did not like the idea of it initially.

But it eventually became something bigger, something important to Tony, he was not fighting alone anymore.

It reached to a point he would die for the team.

Which he did, except he did not successfully become the sacrificial hero in the battle of New York.

To this day he still believes he should have died that day.

There were things he would have regretted, such as not saying a proper goodbye to Pepper, or not being able to pass the position of CEO of Stark Industries to her.

But he also would have prevented her from being kidnapped and had Extremis placed into her, Ultron would not have been born, many lives would have been saved, just from his death alone.

It was a toxic thought, but it was ringing on the back of Tony's head every day.

\--

When he fell, he was not faced with the survival instinct every person was equipped with, instead, it was a sense of liberation.

His mind drifted away, Friday's voice sounded distant, nothing mattered anymore.

He was free.

He remembered the last conversation he had with Yinsen, the man who inspired him to do something with his life.

“We gotta go. Come on, move with me. We got a plan, and we're going to stick to it.”

“This was always the plan, Stark...”

“Come on, you're going to go see your family. Get up. ”

“My family is dead, Stark... and I'm going to see them now. It's okay, I want this... I want this.”

“Thank you for saving me. ”

“Don't waste it... don't waste your life, Stark.”

Tony hoped he did not let Yinsen down, perhaps he had done the exact opposite as what Yinsen wished, but Tony was able to say he had tried his best.

Now he was free, and he was going to see his family again, he wants this.

His mother, father, Jarvis.

Everyone he had lost, he wish to see them again, say the things he did not get to say, tell them he loved them, and he was sorry it took him so long to say it.

Then he reached the ground, and everything turned to black.

When he opened his eyes again, it was not the sight of his family that welcomed him.

It was a lady with long raven black hair, wearing a skin tight green dress smiling at him.

"My name is Ophelia Sarkissian, it's very nice to meet you, Mr Stark."

\--

Steve saw Tony in the middle of the snow, in a small town in Tennessee, his face still weary and tired, but the bruises had been healed.

He was looking up at the sky, the snow caught onto his face and beard, painting them white.

Steve smiled, a rush of joy taking over his body, he wanted to walk towards Tony, but someone else approached him before Steve could even take a step.

A woman, someone who Steve have never met, but there was something about her that felt oddly familiar, something he dreaded, detested.

The lady whispered something in Tony's ear, then he turned and followed right behind her, as they walked towards a black van.

With the dim moonlight, Steve saw the hint of Hydra's logo on the van as it drove away.

He stood there, frozen in place, watched as the van disappeared into the darkness, before running to the nearest pay-phone.

\--

Steve's heart was pounding, he was shivering.

Tony is alive, but he is not well.

The realization that Hydra had gotten to Tony, and they might be doing exactly what they did to Bucky haunted his mind, he wanted to scream, punch something with full force.

It was his fault.

When he reached the Avengers tower, seeing his team together again had helped to calm his nerves.

Vision stepped forward to welcome him, gestured for him to take a seat.

"I will get right to the point, Friday, could you show us Mr Stark's forensic report please?"

Friday had been silent ever since Tony fell, Steve noticed that since the last time he was in Tony's house.

Holographic screens appeared before them, gruesome images of a bloodied body.

Everyone was appalled, looking away, except Steve.

This was not Tony's body.

"Captain, I'm sure you know the reason why I brought you here today, which is likely linked to your sighting of Mr Stark in Tennessee," Vision closed the holographic display when Wanda gave him a frowned look.

Steve was staring straight at him, he already knew the answer.

"I looked into the action record for Friday on that day and observed that she had in fact activated the flight functions to reduce the impact of the fall without command. A safety measure Mr Stark had installed in his A.Is in case of emergencies such as losing consciousness or speech abilities while he is still in the suit. Other than that, I looked into the DNA report from the body and the database, it matched, however, the DNA samples from the body does not match any samples found in Avengers Tower or Mr Stark's personal home."

Vision paused, and looked back at Steve.

"I'm afraid Mr Stark's body had been swapped before we got to him."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier."

Steve was shaking in his seat, he was angry, mostly at himself.

He should have stayed by the body, he should not have walked away.

Tony was a valuable asset, and Hydra knew that too, of course they did, that was the reason why Howard and his wife were murdered.

"I... was not sure if this was Mr Stark's intention, for us to believe he was dead, if it was, I wish to respect it."

"What changed your mind?" Sam chimed in, the frown on his face has not disappeared since Steve stepped in through the door looking like an absolute wreck.

"The description of the personnel Captain Rogers observed to be with Mr Stark raised an alarm, it matches with someone in SHIELD, or currently as we know it, Hydra's database which Miss Ramonov had leaked online, Friday, could you bring out those documents?"

Holographic information of a woman, the one Steve saw in the snow with Tony, appeared before them.

"Ophelia Sarkissian, other alias includes Viper, Madame Hydra, is a high-level Hydra leader. She had been able to avoid direct conflict with the Avengers, enabling her to continue working in the shadows after the fall of SHIELD and Hydra. We have security footage of her visiting MIT during Mr Stark's visit to the campus, she was able to avoid detection once again as MIT was in fact her alma mater too."

The team was silent, the revelation dawns heavily onto them.

Vision fidgeted slightly on the spot, looking at Wanda for reassurance.

Wanda smiled at him, though sad, but it made Vision feel better.

"What can we do?" Rhodey asked, sitting at the back of the room, away from everyone else, just like Tony when Ross paid them a visit.

"We need to locate Mr Stark and extract him from Hydra's containment, however even if we are successful, there is no guarantee that Hydra hasn't successfully altered Mr Stark's mental state."

"What does that mean?" Scott asked cluelessly.

"It means Tony might already become a part of Hydra if we don't get to him fast enough." Natasha leaned forward in her seat, her muscles tensed up.

"Which can be extremely dangerous considering Mr Stark's intellect, he will become one of the most valuable asset Hydra has ever obtained," Vision sat down beside Wanda, having experienced dropping the bad news onto a group of people for the first time, a task difficult even for most humans.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark has a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to bump the ratings up because things start to get kinda grim here.  
> Not really sure if the depiction of violence was considered graphic, but I'll put it there just in case.

Tony Stark has a secret.

A secret that only one person in his life had figured out, the person closest to him.

"Tony, this isn't working," Pepper said with a frown, he hated seeing her frown, but he was often the cause of it.

"What isn't working?" He asked, with a cup of coffee in hand, still groggy from pulling an all-nighter working on the Avengers' new equipment.

"Us."

They fell silent for a long time, both contemplating their next words.

"Please don't leave me, Pepper, you're all I have."

Tony was panicking, he was afraid, of the dark void and loneliness before Pepper came into his life.

"I'm not leaving you, I'll still be here, just not in the same way."

"Why? What did I do wrong? I'll... I'll fix it."

Pepper had always been the logical one, sometimes Tony hated it because he could never rebut anything she says without looking like a kid throwing a tantrum.

"You had done many things wrong in the past but none of it is the reason for this conversation." She smiled dotingly at him, seeing her smile made Tony feel a tiny bit better.

"I don't understand." He tried his best not to choke on his words.

She stood up from the sofa and walked towards him.

Gently cupping Tony's face, she used her thumb to stroke his cheek.

"I know you're in love with Captain Rogers."

  
\--

  
The search for Stark had been fruitless, even with the Avengers splitting up going to every corner they could.

Every time Steve opens the door to another empty Hydra base, he feels his hope diminishing.

Before they left for the search, Natasha had to give everyone a word of caution.

"Don't let down your guards when you see him, Hydra won't wipe him clean like what they did to Barnes. They need to keep his skills and knowledge, so they will use the educational method. Once they succeed, he might talk and walk just like the same Tony we knew, but he might also stab a knife on your back the moment you turn."

It was a disturbing thought, one of the things Steve feared the most.

For him to lose another friend to Hydra.

He remembered the one time Tony showed a hint of his true self to Steve, one he cherished as his favorite memory with Tony.

It was after a celebration party for a successful mission, Tony drank too much for his own good, and Steve stayed a little later than he usually does.

He remembers Tony's flushed smile when Steve sat next to him, asking him was he okay.

"It's alright cap, I've had more than this before."

He frowned at that remark and passed Tony a cup of water in an attempt to flush out some of the alcohol he drank.

"You know cap, when I was younger, I fucking hated you." Tony leaned his head on Steve's shoulder, first time Steve noticed how soft Tony's hair was.

"Guess it started from young huh." Steve leaned his back towards the sofa, giving Tony a better angle to lean on.

Tony laughed, a genuine one Steve rarely gets to see.

"Nuh-uh, I don't hate you now, I couldn't love you more."

Steve looked at Tony, who was looking up at him with a wide grin, his eyes full of affection.

For a moment, Steve took it seriously.

"It's not your fault you got frozen in a giant Popsicle and my dad decides to neglect his wife and son to search the entire damn globe to look for you."

Tony looked back down, hiding his face from Steve.

"But after I actually met you, I realized I would have done the same."

"Why?"

"Because you're important to m-...us, to everyone."

Steve often regret not questioning Tony what he actually wanted to say, but he was afraid of getting it wrong.

To find out that Tony, with his notorious reputation of being one of the most flirtatious men alive, had managed to fool Steve into thinking he was serious.

But after all this, he was determined to get the truth, even if the truth was that he was just one of the victim to Tony's charm and charisma.

The notification alert from his phone brought him back to reality, he opened it thinking it was the other Avengers members reporting their findings.

But it was not.

It was a set of coordinates, the only message below it was "Come alone or else he dies".

He shot up from his seat like lightning, dashed to his jet, and headed straight for the coordinates given to him.

\--

  
Tony Stark has a secret, one that he would prefer to bring to his grave.

Tony has met his fair share of dangerous ladies, he used to enjoy their company, it used to be one of the few things that made him feel alive.

But even he knew not to mess with Ophelia.

Tony was no spy, that had always been Natasha's specialty, but now he regrets not asked her to give him a crash course on spy tactics.

Ophelia looked at him in a way that made him feel exposed, as though she could see right through him.

See through his every lie and disguise.

Perhaps she already knew his secret, perhaps she was pretending to know.

Tony could not tell, but he was afraid.

In the beginning of his captivity, Ophelia was nice, or at least portrayed to be.

She tried to convince Tony to join Hydra, to become a part of them, help them achieve greatness.

She told him of Hydra's glorious goals, things that were obviously propaganda.

Tony listened, intently, but at the end of her speech, he would always decline the offer as politely as he could.

"It's alright, I'm sure you'll change your mind soon, Mr. Stark."

Ophelia would always answer him this with a smile, one that has so many layers behind it.

At one point, they brought him out of the cell, to a familiar place.

Tennessee, one of his lowest lows.

"Did you ever hope for the Avengers to swoop in and rescue you when you were stranded here?"

Ophelia whispered to him on the snowy empty street.

"Do you think perhaps they knew what was happening to you, but none of them chose to help? You were all over the news, they definitely knew, but they didn't even bother come looking for you."

Her words were like sharp knives cutting straight into his heart.

He inhaled in the cold air, feeling his eyes watering up.

She left him alone for a couple of minutes, he was amazed at how much she trusted him not to run away.

He looked up at the night sky, watching the snow fall from the sky.

Hydra's mental manipulation was starting to get to him, he knew it himself, he hatched up a plan for if when Hydra was about to succeed.

He would kill himself.

After he got back to the cell, the daily arrangement changed.

Now, instead of Ophelia coming in every day to give him Hydra propaganda lessons, he was bound and blindfolded, after which they injected something into him with a medical syringe.

His head became dizzy, he felt as though the whole room was moving uncontrollably, he had no strength in any parts of his body.

Then they took off the blindfold, and he saw blurry silhouettes of the Avengers standing before him.

Steve was in the center, in his brilliant blue uniform, holding his heroic shield.

They were looking at him with resentment, a look he was actually familiar with.

Steve stepped forward and stood in front of Tony.

Tony looked up at him, his vision still blurry, all he could make out was a rough shape of Steve.

Then a punch came straight for his face.

It did not stop there.

He was punching and kicking him, Tony had no strength to defend or retaliate.

He fell to the ground and stayed there.

"You killed more people than you have saved."

"Murderer."

"Ally of the terrorist."

"Nobody needs you."

"Your ego is bigger than the entire planet."

He could hear the voices of the others, saying things that were not too far from what he had already heard of in the past.

Steve held him up by the collar and threw him towards the wall like a ragdoll.

"This is for Bucky."

That was the last thing Tony heard before he lost consciousness.

When he woke up, he was laying on the bed.

What happened before he knocked out was a blur, but he knew it was unpleasant, painful, both emotionally and physically.

It was like a seed being planted in his mind, something that is growing to eventually become much bigger and serious.

But he could not remember.

So he sat there in confusion and fear, contemplating ending his life at this very instant.

  
\--

  
Steve sat in front of a switchable 2-way glass wall, his hands bound behind his back to a chair, his legs chained to each other.

He watched in horror, as people disguised as the Avengers members abused Tony.

He watched as the man who looked almost exactly identical to himself punched and kicked Tony.

He could tell the man was not using full force, but the pain on Tony's face says otherwise.

He heard all the horrible things said with the voices of his team, things even Steve had heard similar alternatives to.

He glared at Ophelia, who leaned against the glass wall and watched the scene happen with a smile.

"Isn't it sad, that all we needed to do was to remind him of things that had happened before," She chimed cheerily.

Steve was struggling against the restraints, he wanted to break the glass with his bare fist, even though he knew he would fail.

"Once we have him on our side, we'll wipe you clean like what we did to the Winter Soldier. wouldn't that be nice, for the two of you to be reunited once again as members of Hydra."

He turned back to look at Tony, who is on the ground, curled up into a ball, tears were streaming down his face.

He was apologizing, repeatedly.

"From the way you took the bait so easily, I might actually think you're in love with him too."

Too.

Something in Steve's chest clenched hard, it was painful.

But he does not want to hear it from her, he wants to hear it from Tony's own mouth.

In order to do that, he needs to get them out of here before they drive Tony insane.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do you want me to make for you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so terribly sorry for the extremely late update!  
> Been pretty busy with work and life, I had half of this chapter drafted out way back but I finally managed to churn the rest of it out by today when I had feels looking at CACW stuff.  
> Hope you enjoy it! I'll try to update the next chapter as soon as I could!

Steve had often wondered, what is the exact relationship between him and Tony?

Friends? They could not stay in the same room with each other without bickering about the most trivial matters.

Enemies? They would jump in front of the other person to block a bullet without thinking twice.

Comrades? Tony and Steve were often put on separate missions unless the mission requires maximum effort from the Avengers.

He wondered about this again as he watched Tony get thrown across the cell, his painful screams coming through the speaker connecting the two rooms only turned on when Tony's being put through all these torturings.

It's been a month, they had run through all kinds of scenarios, but the nature of it stays the same.

It reinforces the idea that the Avengers is Tony's enemy, that every one of them wants to hurt him, especially Steve.

Ophelia would always stand beside Steve with her sadistic smile.

Today was different, Steve could sense a tinge of excitement from her direction, and whatever excites her makes Steve afraid.

"How about we change things up a little, Captain Rogers?"

A single knock on the glass.

The doppelgangers shifts into their respective position, as a gun 'accidentally' fell off decoy Natasha's belt, Steve knew that would never happen to the real Natasha, she's too good of a fighter to make such a rookie mistake.

But what was not the point, the point was that Tony was given a weapon.

"What do you think he'll do? Who will he choose to kill first?"

The excitement in her voice was revolting, Steve would not hurt a woman, but right now if his hands were freed he would strangle her with every bit of strength left inside him.

Tony grabbed the gun and pointed it at Steve.

His hands were trembling, tears watering his eyes.

It was as if time stopped, as Steve waited for Tony to pull the trigger.

He would understand if Tony did, but that does not mean he would not feel affected by this outcome, his heart ached, it was more painful than anything Hydra had put him through.

But Tony did not fire the gun at Steve, instead, he pointed it at his own head, closed his eyes, and pulled the trigger.

It was blanks.

Steve let out a sigh of relief, momentarily, before the realization that Tony just tried to kill himself dawned upon him.

"What a pity." Ophelia walked out of Steve's cell, the glass turned black as her heels clicked away into the distance.

 

\--

 

"What do you want me to make for you?"

Tony sat on the floor and leaned his back against the cold wall, his face sunken in, dark rings sitting under his eyes.

He was looking up at Ophelia, who looked genuinely surprised for a split second, before returning to her unusual calmness towards almost everything she faces.

"Everything within your capacity."

"Okay, give me the tools."

Ophelia smiled, the Hydra agents did not inject anything into him that day, they left the cell and hours later, furniture and hardware equipment were bring rolled in.

The cell that once felt large and empty now feels cramped, he looked at all the tools they gave him, all of the top notch quality and clearly brand new.

Ophelia stepped in through the door again when everything's been settled, her smile was wide, but there was something else behind that smile.

"Mr. Stark, I appreciate you finally becoming a part of us, but as a precaution..." She had a remote in one hand, and with a press of a button, the black wall Tony often stared into became clear glass.

On the other side of it was Steve, bound to a chair and gagged, his eyes were red, swollen, tears were streaming down his bruised face.

"Don't do anything foolish if you want to keep him alive, imagine the headlines when people found Captain America's dead body in a Hydra base, the fall of the great American hero."

With that, she placed a folder onto Tony's new desk, some of it were blueprints they want him to improve on, others just rough ideas of what they want him to make.

Tony glowered at her, to which she returned with a wide smile, and walked out of the room, the clicking of her heels echoing into the distance.

He avoided looking at Steve again, he knew what this must have looked like to Steve, it looks like Tony was weak and gave in to Hydra so easily.

In addition, he was not sure if he could bear the sight again of what they did to Steve.

He needed to get them, no, get Steve out of here.

Determination rekindled inside him, as he flipped open the folder, flipping through the mundane designs that are lacking innovation in every aspect.

Steve wanted to scream, but he knew Tony could not hear him, and now Tony does not even look in his direction.

He understands, he do, but it still hurts to see Tony looking at every direction but his.

He knew Tony probably hated his guts at this point, the pointless war between them because of Steve's dishonesty and stubbornness, it was his fault they ended up here.

He does not blame Tony for trying to live, to survive, he's happy for that, this is better than watching Tony get flung across the wall every day by people pretending to be the Avengers.

A part of him clung on to the trust for his team, to realize something was off when they have not heard from Steve for weeks, months, he was not sure, he had already lost track of time, he just hope it had been long enough to raise an alarm.

It did, as Vision flew around Steve's abandoned jet, looking for any clue where the owner of the vehicle went.


End file.
